I can’t look at you any other way, so I have to try my best to completely stay away. It is difficult to face the reality that faces me; I love a man who will be just fine without me. He consumes my day and all of my thoughts while all I do is bore him. It is undeniable that things will never be the same, that the damage that has been done will stay forever.

A part of me tells me that it is better off this way, that I need to move on and never look back because he won’t even think twice about all that has been done. I need to get it through my head that my heart was more involved in this than his own, but a part of me, like any woman, doesn’t want to believe it. I’ve been lying to myself this whole time, thinking that even if he doesn’t show it, he loves me. I know he does. We never do ealy know, though, do we? We will so easily make fools of ourselves thinking it is all worth the ride.

I can’t look at you anymore, I need to get away. Every word that comes out of your mouth is another reminder that you are unsatisfied. I am not the woman you want; I don’t know how to touch you the right way or tell you everything you want to hear. Every part of me wishes I could be enough, but the look on your face tells me that there is no hope left here. You have had a taste of what is out there and you desire it, more than you ever desired me and what I thought we had together.

So go away, please. I can’t bear to look at you anymore without wanting to tear your face to pieces and kiss every single one. I can’t do this anymore, but I can’t be the one to make the final blow. You need to say goodbye and never look back and I need to pretend that none of this ever happened.

So none of this ever happened.

Advertisements