I woke up the same way I had fallen asleep, but that doesn’t make me feel any less alone. At least I had the soothing aid of alcohol to drift me to sleep, but people don’t approve of drinking in the morning time. In my dream world I could be inebriated at all hours of the day. Perhaps I wouldn’t get full on drunk, but a little buzz wouldn’t help. I just need to be distracted from the real world and from this life I had sadly made my own. I’ve turned down the ones that want me and chased all the ones I couldn’t have. I don’t feel I deserve anything I’ve been offered in life so I make it impossible to be happy. I don’t even know what happiness is and I am half convinced it doesn’t exist. Happiness is just something the movies made up to make me go crazy. I am like a cat being teased with a feather. I’ll never get what I want, but I will never give up on trying. Good morning, cruel world, let’s get this shit on the road.

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