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As each rain drop hits the window, I wonder where you are. I still remember the morning you left as though it were yesterday. The truth is it has been over a year now, yet all of my heart stays inside yours; wherever you are. The morning sun is still making its way over the hills and time seems to be moving so slowly. I’ve gotten used to the cold mornings and this frozen bed, but this room hasn’t felt quite right since you’ve gone away.

I’m still in awe at the fact that love can come and go so easily. That evening you still loved me, you even told me so, but come the next morning something had drastically changed in you. When I had woken up, your arms didn’t feel the same around me. You hesitated to kiss even my cheek and you denied that there was anything wrong. You had kept mumbling on about how horrible the dream you had was, but when I tried to ask you what had happened, you refused to say a word.

I still wonder what you dreamt of and why you didn’t bother to say goodbye; why you didn’t even leave a note. Sometimes I run into your mother and I can see in her eyes the pity she feels for me. We go through the usual script of asking one another how the other is doing, but even she treats me differently, as if she can see so easily how fragile I am at first glance. I wonder how she could remain so strong, you left her too that morning, after all.

I feel as though the world keeps moving on without me; my world hasn’t moved an inch since you’ve left. So I am back to wondering, where are you now? Why wouldn’t you say goodbye? I refuse to believe you’re gone forever. Even when they asked me to identify your body, I couldn’t believe it was you laying there. I couldn’t believe you would leave the world (leave me) like that.

Come home soon, I’ll always be waiting.

 

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