Please, don’t worry; I know how attractive I make myself out to be. A beautiful face is never enough and the insides will really sway people away from you. As a friend, I am one of the best I could hope for. Loyal, trustworthy, fun, caring; everything you would hope for. As a lover, I am the worst. Jealousy, anger, hot headed; you name everything you don’t want in a woman and I am sure I will hold most of those characteristics. Sure, the sex is great and I remain faithful, but when there are more bad moments than good I know the end should be coming. I want to apologize to you, but every time I try to I end up finding a flaw in you or us and it starts all over again. If only I could start over, try again, make things right between us; but I can’t.

 

I’d love to be able to peel my skin off so I never fool anyone with my smile or supposed charm. I never wanted to be this way, nor do I know why I am, but it feels like something I cannot undo. I am a vicious being who wants to love and be loved, but my heart has turned vile and I only ever cause damage. I am probably better off on my own, but the nights get cold and my bed quite lonely so as most people do, I refuse to believe and act on what is best for me. Please, don’t worry; I know how unattractive I have become. You, on the other hand, are still a believer in the facade.

 

Advertisements