I’m trying to win this battle against what I desire most. I want intimacy, but not in the way most women want it. I don’t want to be held throughout the night and I don’t want to find a man to marry; I want to be intimate. All throughout the night and into the morning. I want to be sprawled across the bed and waiting, naked, for someone to come and violate my body. I almost don’t care who it is, I just want to feel someone else’s body upon mine. I want to know that I can pleasure someone and that they can pleasure me. I don’t know what love is and this addiction for sex doesn’t help, but I don’t feel I need more than sex from anybody. Just lay me down or bend me over and make me yours for these few moments.

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