Happiness. It is something we choose to feel, something we choose to let into our lives. I know it is as simple as that, yet it feels like the most difficult battle to win. There are plenty of things in my life to be happy for, yet it never seems like enough. I have a family who helps support me, a few amazing friends, and I am alive. I am breathing and the blood continues to flow through my veins, keeping my heart pumping. The loneliness takes over it all, though. I may be happy as can be for the things I do have, but once I realize what I am lacking, it goes back to the start. I can be filled with smiles all through out the day, but once I come home and get into my bed alone, it feels as though I never smiled before. There is an aching in my chest and an emptiness besides me. So I wonder, though my needs are fulfilled, will my wants ever be? I’d like to think I will find love, but more than anything, I’d like to think it will find me first.

 

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