“We’ll still be friends, right?” he asks me. I reply with a nod even though I know it is unlikely. He has tugged along my heart strings for some time now and he has found someone better, so he is setting my aside. I never expected commitment to come easy, but I thought we were on the road to it. Instead, he falls so easily in love with a woman he barely knows. Here I am, his best friend for years now, and though he has confessed a love for me before, he says the typical, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.” He is engulfed in the fantasy of an amazing, perfect woman finding him to be as amazing and perfect as he sees her. He thinks he has found it in this luxurious woman, but I can see right through it. He’s a handsome one, I do admit, but he isn’t the easiest to get used to. She laughs at all of his jokes and talks to him in a seductive voice even when I am around, but her face shows the boredom she feels and her fingers are always on her phone. I’m sure she has a few back up men for whenever she says goodbye to him. We are best friends, but I can’t break this news to him.

So I nod and tell him that of course, we will still be friends. I have stuck around this long, why would I give up now? He tells me I have a point, but as I walk away from him I hold back tears, knowing that this is it. The end of our friendship and the silly idea of love I had in my head. I know that I have allowed myself to be strung along for too long and though I will be breaking my own heart, I have to leave him behind; friendship and all. When things end, I prefer to disappear. Pick up and go away, never to be heard from again. I’m not good with confrontation and I would much rather not have to face the situation at all; it is what I am good at. A part of me almost things I should stick around because maybe, just maybe, he will realize that he is in love with me once this idea of a woman he has leaves him for good. I want to stick around and believe it, but the most painful thing is realizing how foolish that would be. I can’t be a fool anymore. So it is time to pick up and leave.

 

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