The weather is the coldest it has been all year. My bones feel frozen and my fingers like icicles. I let my fingers make figures along my arms, tracing the goosebumps as they appear. Some people hate feeling as cold as I do right now, but I love it. I love it because it reminds me that all is not numb; I am still here, alive, feeling, though not the way I want to. Ever since we parted ways nothing has felt the same; nothing has felt much like anything. The days linger on and the nights even more so; sadness only stayed around for a while and after that the numbness found me. People look into my eyes and see an empty, dark sea. Friends will try to converse about their problems and find that my personality has turned into that of a rock. I can think about how I need to snap out of it and how easy it would be… but for some reason, my mind will not let me. It is as though I am walking through a dark empty tunnel and there you are at the end, waiting with your back towards me, but no matter how fast I go or how long I walk, the distance stays the same. So the coldness I feel is refreshing. Sometimes the only way to forget about pain is to find yourself another one. Finally I find myself forgetting about you; slowly, but surely.

 

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