Sex. The only wonder if my world; the one thing that the people in this world think should be forbidden for a young woman like myself. I tried many years to suppress these urges which had pulled at my insides, but there came a day when I finally let myself cave in. Little did I know that once I gave into these once-secret desires, they would never be able to fit back the way they were. I am able to keep them hidden again, it just takes so much more effort than it ever did before.

Sometimes I don’t think it is worth it to keep everything contained. I want to strip myself of all my clothes and run across the country, visiting many men along the way. I don’t want to be ashamed of the passion within me; I don’t want to feel like I am less of a woman because I favor promiscuity over a loveless relationship. The world’s pressures will never be enough to influence me to settle down. I cannot calm these impulses as everyone thinks I should, nor do I want to.

There are moments where I do feel a little bit shameful for the things- the people- I have done, but what goes does that do me? Perhaps I will keep my pants on for a day or two, but it won’t take long until my libido erupts, scratching at my insides. I cannot say no to what every inch of my body is yearning for. Some friends warn me that these men I consume myself with can’t respect me when they find me so easy to attain, but who ever said I longed for their respect? So I tell them less and less of my nightly prospects and let them think I am turning back into a proper, passionless woman.

During the days, I almost start to believe it myself, but once night comes the beast within is once again gnawing to be released from its cage. All of my self control during the daytime gets flushed down the drain once the lights go out.

Sex. Something women have always been taught to keep quiet about. We shouldn’t sleep with many men, we should wait until our knights in shining armor come to sweep us away. I am a woman and I have needs. Even if the world influences me enough to keep quiet about them, it doesn’t mean they don’t exist; wild, loud, and bursting to get out.