She removes the covers from her bed to reveal her pale body. Whenever anyone ever first meets her, they all think, “My God, what a beauty,” and try their hardest not to lose their breath. With a smile like hers (and let’s not deny it, she’s got quite the body too), no one pays attention to the words she lets flow out of her soul.

Just twenty years old and she is ready to step out into the real world. but this- to her- is acquiring a man to take care of her. She’s forgotten what it means to be independent; all she wants to do is grow up. She doesn’t see that she’s doing it in all the wrong ways. Her body, once a temple, has been so used up it might as well be a wasteland.

She’s always been told that she has potential. To her, this felt like the biggest compliment, but it was never meant to be that way. It does no good to have the hands to be able to change the world, only to waste it removing clothes off of men who only want to use you. She is hardly ever more than a face below a sweaty body, but she thinks she has finally found someone to take her away. He is willing to give her the mediocre ring, a tiny apartment for the two of them to share, and most importantly, the image that she has been chasing after for so long.

It is hard for her to keep the bed clean for only him, but she figures that what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. The first few months of being wed is supposed to be the honeymoon stage, but all she feels is the urge to drink up and meet men who will make her forget about the mediocre man she married and the mediocre life she has begun to live. When she speaks to her friends from home, she pretends that everything is well; that her marriage was the fairy tale she had been hoping for. Many warned her beforehand to take things slow. She is still so young; she barely knows the man. She turned her back on all the people she knew and all of their advice, trying to convince herself that she was in the right.

She tries to forget the dread she feels knowing that her whole life she will have to put on this facade to everyone she knows. She helps herself forget with cigarettes, whiskey, and rolling around in the sheets with men she will never see or hear from again.

So much potential, this girl had, but she wanted so badly to convince the world and herself she was a woman. She barely convinced the world, but she herself was not so easily fooled this time. She hoped she could twist her mind and manipulate herself soon, because she knew that she had nowhere else to go anymore. This was the life she built for herself, but she could not stand it.

All she really wanted now was a place to fall.

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